You feel that the relationship you are in has no future for some reason. You want to break up, but you are afraid that you will hurt the other person badly. Are you wondering if there are ways in which the break can be milder so you save the other person extra pain? How to break up?
Things to consider
Breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend is not easy, so you should be well prepared for it. Start by thinking about whether you really want to part. Never break under the influence of emotions! They will settle down over time, you may begin to regret your hasty decision, but it may prove irreversible – the boy will not want to come back to you anymore. So before you decide to part, calmly answer the question, why don’t you want to be with him anymore? What is the reason behind it? What didn’t work in your relationship? What did you miss in it? What bothered you?
How to break up with someone painlessly
- Meet him, don’t break up on the phone or the Internet. Choose the right place. One where you can talk calmly. A walk in the park, a secluded table in a cozy cafe or other quiet place where nobody will disturb you. Nobody will listen to your conversation.
- Be gentle, argue your decision. Tell him why in your opinion you do not fit together, why your relationship is not from those that end in a wedding carpet.
- Don’t attack or accuse. Do not remind him what he did wrong, do not say sentences such as “you are not fit for my boyfriend”, “you always preferred colleagues over me”, “you never tried for me”, etc. Such accusations will only exacerbate the situation. It is better if you communicate bad things in a delicate way (see point 2), such as: “I need much more attention, but you need freedom – we don’t meet our expectations, we don’t match.”
- Do not compare. Tell him what doesn’t suit you, don’t compare him to others who you think have the qualities he lacked. It only hurts him and you want to avoid it.
- Don’t say you have someone. Honesty is extremely important, but when you part with your boyfriend and already have someone, save him this knowledge. If you are tempted to inform him about it, answer the question first, would you like the boy you are in love with to tell you that he breaks up with you because he met someone else?
- Don’t say you never loved him, don’t say your relationship was a mistake. Even if you really think so, save him that, maybe he sees it differently. You will only hurt him with such a declaration.
- Thank him for his time together, tell me what was beautiful, what you will miss. Do not suggest friendship, but add that if in time he feels that he wants to be in touch with you again, you’ll be happy to meet him.
Do not talk with people about your space
OK, talk to a friend but not friends anymore. This parting is your private matter. It doesn’t matter who dumped whom. It doesn’t matter why it happened. Remember that every bad word spoken about your ex-witness is bad for YOU. Even if your ex-boyfriend speaks badly about you, it is your dog’s duty to keep the class and not repay him. I repeat – you are no longer in kindergarten. And throwing a partner does not end a month after parting. It lasts until you both find yourself as happy singles or in new successful relationships.